R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
