wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
