Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
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We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
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I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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