More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize