I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
