Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
