i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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