You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You made out with two different species that night
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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