Tell her she can't have a vagina
I cannot find my penis.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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