Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
