there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize