apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
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I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
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So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize