Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
