I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
