eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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