I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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