Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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