Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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