the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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