I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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