you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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