Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize