How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
