So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
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you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
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He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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