Porn is love you can see.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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