My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
