We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize