There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
