It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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