he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?