Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
