Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this