New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?