someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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