Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
