oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
