i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
