All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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