She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
