You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
