It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
