she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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