your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize