We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
