Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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