Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
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You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
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Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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