I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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