ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
