I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
