I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
