if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
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i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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