so that wasnt chicken after all
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
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There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
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found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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