The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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