So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
